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Emotional support

12 oktober 2022 8 Weergaven Openbaar

bbkiddo

I was brutally victimized over 25 years ago, but luckily survived the attacks and crimes against me. What happened to me was so extreme, that I developed a form of amnesia.

Because of the amnesia I've been walking around all that time with mental health issues and could not get treated because I could not remember what happened (I wasn't even aware of it, despite my external injuries and my nightmares for which I felt ashamed)

During all that time I did notice something was off with me, I did not trust anyone, was easily triggered by many things, and no one understood me anymore which is why I removed myself from my family, and friends and moved abroad.

Three years ago an acupuncture treatment triggered my memories. I started having flashbacks and then everything came into my consciousness.

It was quite a shock especially because all these things were somewhere hidden in my brain all the time. Since then I am able to connect the dots why some things trigger me, why my teeth broke off, etc.

I went through very intense periods and worked through trauma and I am doing a lot better in the meantime. There is one thing though that I need and can't get sported out. My therapy sessions are decreasing now (because I am doing better) which is why I am looking for emotional support.

I tried finding a self-help or support group, but apparently, you have to speak fluent Dutch to be accepted in one, which is odd, given that I live in an international city.

I understand most of Dutch but my ability to speak it is limited, (and frankly may hurt Dutch ears at times - I get it). Is there perhaps an international support group I could join? Or are there other possibilities for emotional support? I would love to join also a Dutch group, after all, I do live here and think I should learn the language anyways.

Does anyone here know of a group that is open to non-natives?

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5 Reacties

24 oktober 2022 (bewerkt)

I am a native English speaker who has encountered the same obstacles as you have. I am so sorry about what happened to you. I am planning on starting a support group myself because I have professional experience in this field. You can send me a private message if you want to know more.

Henriek | Ambassadeur

18 oktober 2022

Hello Bbkiddo, I'm sorry my advice isn't helpfull for you. I should have asked if you are already in contact with slachterhulp nederland. If I had known, I would have given a different advice. Now that I know what steps you have already taken, I understand very well that you are disappointed. What I could do is search the internet to see if I can find an English support group. If I've found one I'll let you know. Greetz, Henriek

Henriek | Ambassadeur

17 oktober 2022

Hi Bbkiddo, How good that you dare to share your story here. Know that you are not alone. I understand your need to talk with a supportgroup about what happened to you. I know that there are supportgroups at slachtofferhulp nederland. But i'm not exactly if you have to speak dutch. Maybe you can call slachterofferhulp nederland. They can see if they can help you or they may be able to refer you to an authority where it is possible. I wish you a lot of strength in processing what you have experienced. Greetz, Henriek

bbkiddo

18 oktober 2022

Dear Henriek, I'm sorry. our advice is not helpful. I have not shared in my post all the steps I have already taken. Let me fill you in: 1. I have been in contact with Slachtofferhulp since spring 2019. My contact there told me about support groups, and got back to me that apparently there are only Dutch groups. Mind you, I was not even asked if I would want to be in a Dutch group, but given I was suffering severely from PTSD and flashbacks, it probably was better for everyone. 2. Then I was told that there may be a chance to form an English-speaking group. 3. Then suddenly I was told there would be no English group. When I inquired why, I was told that there are apparently no foreigners who contact Slachtofferhulp Nederland. So I proposed to find other survivors of rape and sexual assault given there was someone leading the group. 4 Throughout the pandemic I inquired numerous times about any support groups, without much success. I even reached out to other organizations and all tell me to contact Slachofferhulp Nederland. 5. I was eventually told by my contact at Slachofferhulp Nederland to contact my hometown in my home country and get help there. They don't do online meetings because survivors want to meet in person. 6. After I felt more stabilized I contacted again Slachofferhulp Nederland and proposed I could attend a Dutch group - at least for a tryout. Then I was told Dutch survivors don't feel comfortable with someone speaking English, even though I explained I can speak broken Dutch. I was told to instead post in this forum and ask for emotional support here. Henriek, Slachtofferhulp Nederland is not the only organization I tried to get help from. When I contact other organizations they always refer me to Slachtofferhulp Nederland, but for whatever reason, you are not helping me. I contacted in total three organizations in The Netherlands, and five organizations in my home country. I feel frustrated, betrayed, angry and annoyed to say the least. And I wonder how there can be a country like the Netherlands with a constitution that states in its first article that everyone deserves equal treatment, independent of whatever? I do not understand why I continue being rejected by Slachtofferhulp Nederland when I ask for help. This is not a joke, but you keep on treating me like one. I'm sorry but when you say "you are not alone" I don't buy this anymore. After reading your message I feel more than alone - I feel let down.

Chamilla-81

13 oktober 2022

Hello bbkiddo, Maybe there is a Supportgroup in Amsterdam? Sorry for my English. Ill think that you speak English and understand Dutch must not be a problem to visit a group. Maybe you can call to Slachtofferhulp for information and help.? I hope that they have some ideas for you. Wish you all the best. Kind Regards Chamilla.